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Be Home For Dinner: Finding Friends Through Food

Jara Lopez Sastre Painting
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Be Home For Dinner: Finding Friends Through Food

Before their gatherings, Be Home For Dinner (BHFD), a community-sourced cookout of friends in the New York food world, assembles for a group huddle. Crew members, including hosts, cooks, bartenders, and everyone in between, converge in a circle, all hands reaching inward, creating a crescendo of noise and energy resembling sizzling oil on a pan. This huddle indicates that BHFD is, first and foremost, a collective rooted in the genuine bonds of friendship, where the shared passion for food is not only a culinary endeavor, but also a celebration of the ties that knit the group together.

Nico Lopez-Alegria and Kendra Borden are the architects of BHFD. Both have dedicated themselves to fostering a community of food professionals in New York through the warmth and familiarity of homestyle food. Dinner guests at BHFD engage in a communal feast, creating connections as they embark on a shared culinary journey. “I like making food for people as an act of love and I love to bring people together,” describes Borden. It was this same love that motivated Nico and Kendra to host a dinner party back in 2021 at their Williamsburg apartment. After a year of isolation, they craved connection. Without the proper kitchen space to host friends, they gathered under the moonlight on the building’s roof with paella plates, natural wine, and their shared excitement for cooking. Brimming with excitement for the sense of community these dinners created, the duo wanted to share their love with an even larger group. Additionally, the goal was to provide a platform for members to showcase their expertise, addressing the barriers to entry that young professionals often encounter in the New York food industry. With that vision, the group sought out spaces to realize these goals.

Because Be Home [For Dinner] is all hands on deck and organic, it gives people that experience you might not get unless you’ve worked your way up in a restaurant.

Their inaugural event took place this past May at Baby Blues Luncheonette, a homey café located right next door to their Williamsburg apartment. The spot is fueled with significance, having been where Nico, Kendra, and other BHFD members learned much of what they know. Their amicable team at the café provided them with the opportunity to grow in the company, and hence, it was only right to introduce their newfound community to a place where they nurtured their skills. Serving a community of 65 friends with a pot full of sizzling paella, the event proved to be a hit. Members recall the excitement brought to the table at this gathering.

At the first event, the reason all of us were there was because we were having so much fun. And, the entire time, we were just like, ‘Guys, I'm having so much fun!’”

At its core, Be Home For Dinner is a community of professionals united by a shared passion for cooking. During the events, crew work diligently to prepare a warm and inviting environment for guests. However, there is a soft line between staff and guests. All staff – bartenders, cooks, hosts – are encouraged to step away from their posts and socialize with guests, with a buddy system in place to ensure that no one feels isolated when in the kitchen. These rules make certain that BHFD members enjoy themselves, basking in the event’s amusement alongside guests. This was the case when I attended Be Home For Dinner’s November 30th event hosted at Stone Street Café. Throughout the night, all BHFD members circled the café, checking in on and mingling with attendees, facilitating an environment where connections could blossom. Because of their warm hospitality, dinner guests branched out to one another, many making an effort to dine at tables alongside new friends. 

Aside from the aperitive five-course meal and geniality of BHFD’s members, what stood out to me was the bonded camaraderie of the event’s guests. There was no shortage of friendliness in the café when I arrived. Within an hour, I befriended countless guests, bonding over our shared dinner experience, especially our fascination with the dessert: a velvety gelato topped with a tantalizing combination of warm and sticky dates, pistachios, and citrusy bergamot. Attendees – myself included – departed the event not only filled with delectable food and libations, but also nourished by a rich abundance of community.

The crew has expanded over time, incorporating new roles such as set designers, event producers, pastry chefs, and bartenders, among a multitude of other responsibilities, granting friends of all backgrounds a launching point to grow in the food industry as young professionals. The success of BHFD events, and its growth into what it has become today stems from each member’s passion for their peers and the collective as a whole. 

[Be Home For Dinner members] have ownership over their positions, while bringing knowledge and experience. When someone expresses interest in wanting to work with this person, we say, ‘Great! Here's our pitch deck. We'll help you with whatever you need. If you're interested in it, let's try it.’”

Gabriella Kaspi, one of the group’s bartenders, was interested in working with Suncliffe Gin for a BHFD event. By granting Gabriella the space and confidence to develop her craft, she cultivated a relationship with the brand, crafting crisp and balanced gin-based cocktails at a BHFD gathering. Like Gabriella’s knack for mixology, other members of the collective have taken their interests to the next level thanks to the support of the community as their platform.

Aside from being a place where members expand their relationships in the food community, BHFD is a collective that nurtures relationships from within, forging numerous connections over shared meals. Following his collaboration with BHFD at their first event, Pastry Chef Ryan Del Franco’s culinary connections expanded tenfold. Ryan showcased his expertise at the event, baking a scrumptious biscotti topped with fennel and aniseed alongside earl gray chocolate pudding. Between bites of biscotti, Ryan met Zoe Johnston, founder of Spilt Milk Collective, an organization specializing in high-end edible and experiential installations. The two instantly connected over their shared culinary interests. In turn, Ryan made a new friend and was brought on as part of the collective. He made other similar relationships that night and is still employed by members of this network today.

The group is now more than ever motivated to take on new initiatives to invest in the community from which it derives its passion. Having recently secured a grant from Sky High Farm, a non-profit dedicated to promoting food security and nutrition in New York, the group hopes to work on projects similar to those put on by the company. The group is excited to help develop the next generation of leaders in the food industry and inspire them to spread love through the power of food.

“To do something like a Sky High program scratches an itch that I’ve always had. I love direct farm-to-table, and I love the possibility of ‘teaching a man to fish.’”

As the event has grown in size, Nico, Kendra, and other core members of the crew have launched a new tradition to stay true to its roots as a collection of friends uniting via dinner. The group gathers for dinner on Sundays, connecting outside of their formal events and the many roles that each member holds. Because all members wear different hats outside of the collective, they have launched a Sunday dinner ritual to connect weekly, uniting over plates of pasta and meatballs, tajine, or whatever else the group desires to cook for each other. Be Home For Dinner, no matter its size, remains steadfast in its commitment to being a community-centered cookout, prioritizing this character as it continues to grow.

Photography @ritchiejo @annemariehalo @tyler.xls, Graphics @nicoflou

Be Home For Dinner will host their next event titled “Be Home For Breakfast” on Sunday, December 10th at Stone Street Café. The event is unticketed and a la carte from 11:00 AM until they sell out. Be sure to check it out!

Connect with Be Home For Dinner on: Instagram